I love this Naomi, well done! I can definitely imagine you making it to the Olympics one day. I would love to be able to cheer on my students to a Gold Medal! One thing to work on for next time - some more descriptive language would help make your story more intense, and exciting, like using spike, or smash to describe hitting the ball. Keep up the great work
I love this Naomi, well done! I can definitely imagine you making it to the Olympics one day. I would love to be able to cheer on my students to a Gold Medal!
ReplyDeleteOne thing to work on for next time - some more descriptive language would help make your story more intense, and exciting, like using spike, or smash to describe hitting the ball.
Keep up the great work
Thank Mr Hughes for telling me! I did change some of the words to smash <3 Take another look at it if you can!
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